Happy Leap year Birthday

Four years ago on leap year we had a Birthday party. It was fancy dress. To participate you brought a gift of a $50 value. Everyone got a gift and everone got drunk. Fun was had by all. It was a great party.

4 years ago. I was with Benny as much as I could be with him. We left the the party together. We left every party together. It was the beginning of our 3 year hook up relationship, the Irish version of a "relationship" I'm told.
We had gotten together on New Years Eve 2004. Woke up together New Years day 2005 and vowed not to do it again. Then it was volatile until Christmas day 2006 when I got drunk, cried and carried on...and vowed I would never need to talk to him again. Even though our best friends are all the same. It's been rough. All year I avoided parties and Holiday weekends away when I knew he'd be there. Only once did I see him, at Wayne and Katie's house warming Christmas party.

Just the background.

This leap year we all gather at Paddy Coynes' pub to drink and celebrate. It starts at 8pm. By 9:30 Benny shows. I was hoping he would skip it, or show up and act like a human. No he's drunk. He's been drinking Guinness since 3pm. Most likely hasn't eaten. Benny is all of 5'7" 135lb of foolish Irishman.
He stares at me for awhile. He finally comes over and instead of saying hi, he stands next to me and sort of feels for my hand and looks at me. Hi. Unfortunately it feels good. Shit. I'm pathetic. He slurs and goes on. Walks away comes back. Trys to put his arm around me, that's one thing about Benny he is affectionate when drunk. We are alone. No one is listening. They are watching. He looks at me and quietly says "wanna fuck?" I lean in and laugh "of course." He's like OK, as I continue "But not tonight and not with you" "fuck you" is the response I get back. He goes on about how he's a very sexual guy. I tell him to call me tomorrow...you know that's not going to happen. He says. I know this and ask him, why would I want to go home with you tonight then? He agrees with my view. Why would I?
He can barely stand.
I should slap him.
He won't remember so what's the point.
Wayne calls him a cab and he's gone.
I'm sad for what will never be.

I need a better man.