quick update

I had been living in Seattle since 2001 and it was getting old, then I got laid off last February, right before a 10 day vacation to Kauai, and I was able to go to the Obama rally the next day, since I had no job!

So I kept looking for a job and interviewing and coming up empty. I painted. I went to an astrologist and a psychic. I began doing yoga 5 times a week. I painted. I collected unemployment. I sold 2 paintings on etsy. I went to Maui in May because I had a free ticket and I could.

I became the president of the corporation for Alpha Xi Delta, when I was in Maui the House director disapeared and I had to move in for the last 2 weeks of school. I spent my entire summer hiring new staff, buying furniture for the lounges, painting the dinning room and bonding with the future membership chair. Good thing I didn't have a job, I was so busy.

Then Summer was almost over and my unemloyment was running out and my brother in law offered me a job working in the winery for the season. My sister said I could live with them rent free. So I packed everything I wanted to keep in 3 door to door storage units. I sold my vintage clothes. I made many trips to Good Will. I gave away all my plants.I packed my car and had my brakes replaced on the day I left Seattle for $800 (they were scary) My dad said I was robbed.

Now it's almost 4 months later and I have no job, the unemployment web site isn't working, the phone line is busy, it's 14 degrees out side and my car is covered in 3 ft. of snow. I'm not sure if I want to live here.

I interviewed with a big Winery winery last Friday and they would be able to offer me a full time job by March but only 10 or 15 hours until then.
So my options are to stay and take this job and find another part time job
OR go to Costa Rica and get my 200 hour yoga teaching cert, I'd be back in mid Feb and could work then for Waterbrook, but I will have spent all my money.
OR move to Portland and look for a job there (because I'm tired of Seattle)

I miss my neice Claire. She 3 and a crazy wild girl, she has been climbing trees since before she 2. In Seattle I saw her a least once a week. She makes me want kids. Here she is picking out a Christmas tree. That's exactly how I feel about Christmas!

Beauy school in the future?

So I had dark hair for a few years. This is me today------------>

This was me in February below bottom. The one on the below middle was in May. I had been growing my hair out and a month ago I went to a friend's hairdresser (a little gay man, the type of hair dresser I like least) and he cut it right back to where it was last February. I hated him till about yesterday. Actually I till hate my hair cut but I've gotten used to it. I've been keeping my own color since I'm unemployed (still) and have no extra $100 to have it professionaly done. I think it looks pretty good. Maybe I just need to go to Beauty School and become a colorist.

Alpha Xi Delta

Some how back in April I got conned into becoming the alumni president of the non profit corporation that runs the housing for my sorority at the University of Washington. It's been fun. The house director whent missing when I was in Maui, it turned out to be job and apartment abandonment. I ended up making her old apartment my art studio the last week of school (finals) so I could be the representative who checked them out. I tossed almost 4 file drawers of old files from past house directors and had to organize and toss all the things the woman who had just quit had left behind, basicly her entire sad life. But I painted too. It was kinda fun.

The next week one of the girls and myself went and ordered 70 new dining room chairs from Design Within Reach. Excellent. Then we found a good deal on a dinning table, ordered those too. Nine of them. That was the easy part.
Since then I have fired the cook, need to find a new one. Waiting on a background check. Hired an awesome almni Grad Student to be the new House Mom. Run an inventory of all the items that belong to the house, furniture, dishes, glasses, silverware...thanks Molly, Sara, Katherine, and Alicia for helping!!

Had a yard sale, during which I was sick and on drugs as I had blown out my ear drum (worst pain ever) 2 days before. Still haven't received the emergency room bill. Thank God for Vicodin.



The dining room needed to be painted. So I got bids for wallpaper removal/covering...whatever just so it will be ready to paint. There turned out to be up to 12+ layers of paper and the first guys that started it quit two hours into the job. I was so pissed. This morning another random Mexican painter called me saying he would do the job, well at least look at it. So I made a deal. Gave him the code to the front door and am hoping for the best. Because this doesn't look good.

Walla Walla

I went for a week, we drank wine every night and I painted when Jennifer and David were at work. Here are some animals. I took no pictures.

First etsy.com sale!

This is was what she bought! The donut! For some reason was the most looked at item. Maybe this woman kept looking at it and just had to buy it. It is pretty cute.

Thanks!

I've been busy...

and I haven't been dating. I think I'm officially an old maid or a cougar with out any prey.

Maui in May

Heather and I went to Maui for some sun, because it' been 50 degrees or colder in Seattle for the last 5 months, when will Summer arrive? We did yoga, walked on the beach, seached for shells, got tan, had breakfast at Grandma's coffee house, saw horses by the side of the road, people watched by the Westin pool. It was beautiful.

Unfortunately I had a memory card with a memory 0f 10 photos. Annoying.

Paintings up

I'm finally on etsy. Batcat is my name. Art for kids. We shall see what happens.

chicks up front

Today I went to see the chaneller.
She told me a lot of the same things the astrologist did.
Child was her thing. She said she could see children all around me for the moment I entered the room.
I need to use my gifts to help children. Art and stories to help children (and we are all children.)
She recomended calling my spirit guides and setting a time to write...just write whatever came to me. Knowing that I am more than I think I am. It's bigger than I think it could be. Teaching others how to act in the world...shit, that's big because sometimes I don't know how to act.

Balancing fear and adventure and chanelling that energy.

Last night I met the tall boy for a few drinks then met Katherine, her man, and another couple. The woman just opened a shop and wants to see my baby hats. There's one opportunity. She said this woman has energy rise to her, but that she overspeaks and underdoes, so to be aware of that. She said I would have a few other opportunities by the end of summer.

She also said I need the cleanse myself of the pain my last job had caused me, it's still hangin around. Especially overcoming a toxic man (the owner who brings pain on all those who work for him) and gave me a ceremony to perform.
She said I need to set up an altar, which I already have, I just don't use. So now is the time to get it going.
What kind of hippy am I becoming??
She got really excited about me becoming a coach for others, using what I discover for the good of others. Being supportive and keeping accountability for others...after I learn to do that for myself. Easier said than done. Yikes...so much.

I need FOCUS. I realize this! I must do. Plan and set goals for myself and keep them.
That I am exactly where I need to be.
That it is time to have fun.
"Chicks up front" the old call during marches in the 60's when to quite the cops the organizers, would call the women to the front. Now is the time for women to reach out and make a difference.


So I paid for a business license today.
Ready to rock and roll.

intelligence, friendship, strength and poetry

I hung out with Claire friday night.
I was hung over, she kept telling me to be happy, she's so happy. I told her I was happy just tired. She said sleep then and tried to tuck the blanket around me on the sofa. Then she would come right back and try to rip it off and say "be happy!"

Oh, I was happy.
Claire said let's sing. She set a pillow on the fire place ledge and sat down. She placed her hands in her lap and started singing. Her voice changed became higher, trying to find her melody.

"Twinkle, Twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Up so bright in the dark sky"

Pretty good for a 2 1/2 year old.
She looked at me as if I should join in or finish.
I don't remember the words.

I looked them up today:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,

Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

Then the traveler in the dark
Thanks you for your tiny spark;
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye
Till the sun is in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
As your bright and tiny spark
Lights the traveler in the dark,
Through I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

Claire is the smartest girl.

I just read that the Balinese believe you have four brothers who go with you where ever you go and protect you. They can be called on to assist and rescue you.
They inhabit the our virtues a person needs in order to be happy and safe in life: intelligence, friendship, strength, and poetry.

I need to be able to sing with Claire on Monday when I see her next.

Smiling paintings

Today was pretty perfect too.
I went to yoga.
I called wine dude and told him not to be embarrased to call me back.
And he did at 10:30 pm, what's up with that? i'll call him tomorrow.
I painted all evening. Some good stuff.
Happy stuff.

I am reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabth Gilbert. She is dealing with in this book what I'm starting to deal with now in my life. It's one of those "Celestine Prophecy" moments, although maybe I am reading the book at the right time now. With the "CP" I waited until I was already in Australia to read it.

Perfect day

Thursday
I checked emails.
I went to yoga.
I got coffe and a cupcake after yoga.
The sun was out so painted a piece of furniture and a frame outside. That is one of my favorite things to do.

Katherine came over and we went for a long walk. I try to help her with her issues, but she has a long journey ahead.

I then picked her up and we headed down to Pioneer Square for Art Walk. Stoped in a Gallery IMA, actually parked in their garage. Had a glass on wine. Went to another gallery, not serving wine, awesome inspiring collage art. Katherine wanted to hit a bar (bar fly that she is) so we had a VT. To another gallery where Katherine used to work...so had another glass of wine. Then made our goodbye's to Dino and headed back to Ballard.

Stoped in at Hazelwood. VT2, then to Hatties' VT3, then to People's Pub (VT4&5) and I started a conversation with the man sitting next to us about Katherine's problem then eneded up giving him my number (and kissing him 3 times like the Brazilians do, he just looked like he needed a blessing...may you never get married type). We then went back to Hazelwood which was hoppin now. Katherine ordered us drinks VT6! Oh my!

I met a woman who said she was a children's book editor and wanted female friends (I gave her my info) and then I met a man who is in the wine making program, he knew LongShadows (where my brother in law is a wine maker) and I gave him my number. I think a few more drinks were bought for me, by the woman and then by a guy she was talking to who spilled my drink, and I talked to him. Then I talked to the wine maker guy again...and went home.

Thanks God for getting me home.
I can not drink with Katherine, she drinks like a fish and I don't know when to say I'll have a soda please.

When I woke up Friday I had 6 missed calls and 2 messages from wine guy. Funny.
I watched a movie and lazed all day till I had to go hang with Claire.

I decide to stop dating and I give two different men my number.
This is how it works.

pen pals

I was talking to 3 other men that I met on line. I gave all of them my phone number.
Two wanted to be pen pals, the other just wouldn't take the initiative (don't give me options for 3 different nights)

I gave up on all of them.
What I need to do now is concentrate on something bigger than me. Not relationships but life purpose, yesterday told me that.

Done with dating for now. Closed my profile, after checking out a bunch of other men, sending some flirts and not getting any real response.

That's done. Thanks God.

Second Chakra

I went to the svadhyaya yoga class today.
This class is about looking within. Considering what my day was like yesterday I think I needed more.
It was focusing on the second chakra which is in the groin. I can to a very peaceful state and felt one with my body quite a few times during the practice.
At one point I felt a 10% feeling like yesterday of the gold energy pulsing through my body, but we were focusing lower.

The Sacral Chakra is associated with the color orange or red-orange. You focus on spinning the second chakra. This chakra often offers us the opportunity to lessen our "control issues" and find a balance in our lives, teaching us to recognize that acceptance and rejection are not the only options in our relationships. The process of making changes in our life stream through our personal choices is a product of second chakra energy. A well-functioning second chakra helps one to maintain a healthy yin-yang existence.

Chakra Two - Associations
Color - orange
Physical Location - lower abdomen to the navel
Purposes - emotional connection
Spiritual Lesson - creativity, manifestation.


Dring the practice I heard a voice that told me to ask the instructor for help afterwards, that she wouldn't be able to help me but would know someone who could. It was very strong. So I did. I don't think I could have left the room without asking.

When I told her about my experience, I began to cry again. I asked her for help, but she couldn't help me. I didn't tell her that something had said she would know someone to help me, I guess I was afraid (fucking fear again!) But as I was putting on my shoes she said I have a channeler (she was afraid too!) do you think she could help?

This was it. This was what I was suposed to find out from her. So she gave me a name and I'll see what the spirits have in store.

Astrology

I met with my astrologer today. What he had said would be a 1 hour to 1 1/2 hour session turned into 3 hours. It was to focus on career, which also encompasses money and life work, destiny. My chart tells me change is coming.

It was very draining.

At one point when he was speaking about my sun sign. I began to be filled with gold light. I was so overwhelmed and afrain I began to cry. The energy was so strong I had a difficult time rejecting it. Why I wanted to reject it scareded me. I did. Whe he realized what was happening he looked shocked and got me some tissues. He went on and then turned to me and said what just happened. I tried to tell him but all I could say was that is was very creepy, not the right word. But obviously I was afraid.

The session continued. Things that kept coming up were group, spirutality, service, healing, medicine, child. There was also spirits, dead, dying, hopelessness and a change in values. A loss of material cares. He was very intrigued by the fact that I have seen ghosts, spirits, have premonitions...that's not his thing and he's envious. I need to find out more.

All interesting.
Something bigger than me.
Something I have to find from within.
Something that could change the world.
I can not fear the gold light when it appears again. I need to be ready to embrace it.

sewing all wekend

For like ever, I've been meaning to recover my sofa cushions.

This is what my sofa looked like on Friday. Sad.

This is what I ended up with. I'm so pleased.

I even finished the chair that I had started 3 years ago!

band of horses tee shirt

I met up with Mr X for dinner Saturday night. I knew it would be short but decided to give it a try.
He was wearing a band of Horses tee shirt, black, a size too large, with a white long sleeved tee underneath. He wasn't wearing a belt. How do I know? His teeshirts were tucked in. He's 45 and has a hair cut like Tom Cruise. That long but short style. He's not my physical type. He's not my type spiritually either.

Our date last week was postponed bacause his son ran away from home. I told him he needed to take care of his family. He doesn't need to start something with me.

He wanted to talk about art. He had given me his web site to look at. terrible, he's a horrible artist. Even the name of the site...somehing to do with Hobbits...come on!

Anyway, we had a nice dinner but I'm so not interested, it's sad.

He later calls me to go out to coffee on Sunday and then emails me to see if I want drinks on Monday. No, I don't. Life is too short for this. He drains my energy and wants something from me I can't give him...except advice that he needs to take care of his family.

And fashion advice but I can't give that either without him thinking I'm a bitch.

Moving on.

Kermit the hairdresser

I got my hair cut today, looks great.
Well, when Kermit blew it out and straightened it with the flat iron it looked perfect.
Then, I walked home in the rain.
It's blond now

Maybe I should leave the house today

Today's horoscope:
Communication with others should be extremely effective, and you will find that your social calendar is full, dear Virgo. You are feeling good about yourself, thanks to a boost in confidence that reminds you that you can do anything. You have the ability to juggle many things at once, and the physical endurance to keep up your quick-paced momentum. Even though you may be someone who tends to be rather lazy and sluggish, you just might get a sudden inspiration to join a gym or a sports team.

So far I am suposed to hang out with Bryan later and my friend Chris just called and wanted to get together. I dont know about joining a sports team...but I was thinking of joining a yoga "gym" again.

I am not older than Obama

So Travis sent me a message and wanted to meet up on Friday.

We planed to meet at Thai Ku, then a few messages later he asked "what about tonight, LOL. Then Friday could be our second date." Why the LOL...anyway I ignored it.

Sure, I wrote call me if you want to do it. I let him go to voicemail. He mentions Kings (cheesy), Ocho (so new I'm not impressed plus when the girls and I went there not such good service), and Hazelwood...the tiniest bar ever in Ballard. He says let's meet upstairs. What the? Seriously the bar is like 8'x12'.

Fine, this should have been a sign for things to come, but I called back and said sure, drink at 8pm? ok. He leaves it with, "see you upstairs", I laughed "maybe I'll see you downstairs, if I'm on time." Seriously has he ever been to Haxelwood on a Wednesday night? It's not like it's going to be packed at 8pm.

Drinks/food:

So I as I walk in the door, he is standing at the bar (downstairs!) with a glass of red. I have the same and we go upstairs. The first thing he notices is that turntables are set up and procedes to tell be about how this past weekend he was here and some people were sitting where the turntables are (wonder where the bench went?) and about how drunk these people were and how they were playing with a breathalizer...guess you had to be there.

Topics of conversation:

Work: he tells me the tiltle of his job, and then says "Do you know what that is?" It's one of those tech sales type jobs.

Living: no dog, has lived in Manhattan the same time I did and shopped at my store, comes from Eastern WA and I know of some people he knows.

Travel: he casually mentions he's going to Austin next week, but not for work. I ask for South by Southwest? He's like "how do you know about that?" Hahahah...he lost me there. like I wouldn't know about sxsw.

Politics: oh no...how did we get here? He claims Obama is 38 (on the basis that he has young kids) This is when I decide he can pay for my glass of wine. Proceeds to talk shit about Hillary.

Time to go home.

He claims to be tired since before he met me he had a big bowl of rice and veggies and a beer at Thai ku...whatever, if he wanted to go out to dinner... this is the type of man who feels drinks are all he wants on a first date.

I email him thanking him and letting him know Obama is 46. Don't expect to hear back.

oh and when I told him I'm just been on vacaion in Kauai, he said "You don't look tan" Aaaagh!!

Back on it

So I reopened my profile on The Stranger. Made a few changes, added a new picture, lied about my age...let's see.

I went through all my old messages and deleted them, saw how many were still on...only Keanu Reeves, the player and good 'ole Lee Vinning, who is now 38!! Yikes I'm sure he's 55. Hilarious.

Happy Leap year Birthday

Four years ago on leap year we had a Birthday party. It was fancy dress. To participate you brought a gift of a $50 value. Everyone got a gift and everone got drunk. Fun was had by all. It was a great party.

4 years ago. I was with Benny as much as I could be with him. We left the the party together. We left every party together. It was the beginning of our 3 year hook up relationship, the Irish version of a "relationship" I'm told.
We had gotten together on New Years Eve 2004. Woke up together New Years day 2005 and vowed not to do it again. Then it was volatile until Christmas day 2006 when I got drunk, cried and carried on...and vowed I would never need to talk to him again. Even though our best friends are all the same. It's been rough. All year I avoided parties and Holiday weekends away when I knew he'd be there. Only once did I see him, at Wayne and Katie's house warming Christmas party.

Just the background.

This leap year we all gather at Paddy Coynes' pub to drink and celebrate. It starts at 8pm. By 9:30 Benny shows. I was hoping he would skip it, or show up and act like a human. No he's drunk. He's been drinking Guinness since 3pm. Most likely hasn't eaten. Benny is all of 5'7" 135lb of foolish Irishman.
He stares at me for awhile. He finally comes over and instead of saying hi, he stands next to me and sort of feels for my hand and looks at me. Hi. Unfortunately it feels good. Shit. I'm pathetic. He slurs and goes on. Walks away comes back. Trys to put his arm around me, that's one thing about Benny he is affectionate when drunk. We are alone. No one is listening. They are watching. He looks at me and quietly says "wanna fuck?" I lean in and laugh "of course." He's like OK, as I continue "But not tonight and not with you" "fuck you" is the response I get back. He goes on about how he's a very sexual guy. I tell him to call me tomorrow...you know that's not going to happen. He says. I know this and ask him, why would I want to go home with you tonight then? He agrees with my view. Why would I?
He can barely stand.
I should slap him.
He won't remember so what's the point.
Wayne calls him a cab and he's gone.
I'm sad for what will never be.

I need a better man.

Biz Lady meet up

DWR is sponsoring a meet up for women by Design*Sponge.
I meet Gail and we have a drink before attending. While we are talking about what we need to do next I mention I'm going to see an astrologist. I am working on my psychic gifts.
She is amazed that I've seen ghosts and I always know when somthing is going to happen.
She says something important to me about how when you ignore one of your gifts it can block a lot of what should be happening in your life. That's how I feel.

It's interesting.
I can do this. I just need to sit down and create.

Focus.

Baked like a rotissery chicken

This was the scenery of my life the past 10 days. I think I need to move some place warm. Why an I living in Seattle?

I am embarassingly tan. Hard to tell in this photo because I like to put sunscreen on my face, but check out the chest. I think I need to go blond again. My tummy is very tan. Need to get back to yoga!!

Working girl

Got laid off toay.
Yes. I knew it was coming, but it still pissed me off.
It will be fine, unemployment and a better job are in my future. Also vacation, I leave for Hawaii on Sundy.

I knew it was going to happen. I have had 4 managers since I've been there in a year and a half. The place is poison. The owner has such a huge ego he thinks he can increase sales by 20% over last year without more marketing. We need more customers.

More about me, how did I feel? I was expecting it and had been telling my staff I would be gone before my vacation. They didn't believe me. I was fine with it, went out on the floor to get my stuff. Thom was there, "I'm so sorry he said" Reed was next, he was just pissed off, "Why are thye doing this, are they idiots?", Sean laughed "What are they thinking?" I was packing up and Bryan appeared...nice working with you, I just got laid off. "no!" he said. Crappy. I started to get upset. I went into the breakroom to tell Justin. He got emotional, then I got emotional. "stop it" I said. Reed came into get my number. I had to call Tina in HR and get escorted out, turn in my badge, keys, all that. She gave me hug and said you know you will find something better.

I'm glad to be leaving there. What will I do next?

I'll miss these guys.

Went out with the girls and got drunk.